Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Why I Choose to be a Stay At Home Mom

I wrote two weeks ago about The Cultural Bias Against Stay-At-Home Moms. I promised a follow-up, so here it is.

As I mentioned in my earlier post, I know I'm not a full-fledged Stay-At-Home Mom (SAHM) yet. I am still working toward finishing college, including taking one summer class this summer and going back to campus for one more year. In addition to that, I've only been a mom for 4 and a half months.

However, I (along with Brandon) believe that home is where God wants me while my children are at home. And it's where I want to be, too. (Isn't it nice when what you want matches up with what God wants?)

Here are my 5 reasons:

1) The Bible tells me so. 
Titus 2:3-5 says "Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled."

1 Timothy 5:14 "So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander."

Proverbs 31 speaks of an excellent wife, and she works. I believe if we ever needed extra income, it definitely would be fine for me to work to bring in income, as long as my responsibilities at home were taken care of first - meeting the children's needs and maintaining our home.

2) My husband is supportive of it.
Brandon is not forcing me to stay at home, nor does he scorn me for it. He does not think I'm lazy for preferring work at home rather than work outside the home. Actually, he is glad that I am able to stay at home with Asher and take care of our home. 1950s-ish it may be, but he loves coming home to a home-cooked meal - and I love making it for us!

He would rather work two jobs - which he does - so that I may stay at home rather than both of us work and have to send Asher to daycare or a babysitter. We would rather be tight on money than tight on precious time with our precious boy. Plus, we can manage to make one income work because we know the difference between needs, wants, and luxuries.

3) We want to raise our children.
This is one reason we will homeschool our children, but it also applies to their preschool years. I want to know and love and nurture my children, rather than have someone else do it for me. Why would I pay a daycare or a babysitter to watch my kids all day when I can give them all the love and care they need at home? No one - not even their grandparents or aunts or uncles or dear friends - can love my children like their Dad and I can.

Deuteronomy 6 tells parents to teach God's Word to their children diligently. Parents are to talk of God's Word "when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." The passage makes it clear that God's Word should be the business around which all of family life should orbit, and I personally do not see how I could do that if I only saw my kids a few hours each day.

We want to "bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." -Eph 6:4    and we feel that the best way to do that is for at least one of us to be with them constantly, day in and day out, imparting the truths of God's wisdom to them.

4) There's nothing else I'd rather do.
When I was in high school and early in college, I really struggled trying to decide on which career to choose. I knew that I would want to stay home with my kids when I had them, at least during their preschool years, and I took that into consideration when thinking about a future career. However, the more I thought about it, the more my desire grew to homeschool my future children. I knew that Brandon and I would be getting married in college, and kids were soon to follow (little did I know just how soon!) and that is when I decided that motherhood was my dream job.

No career could ever be as rewarding as diligently raising up faithful children for the Lord. Now I know there is no guarantee that our children will come to know the Lord, and it's out of my hands - the decision is theirs to make. However, I can "lead a horse to water" so to say ... I can shepherd him in the way he should go.

When my kids are grown, I want to be able to say that I did all that I could do, I was a faithful steward of my children and my time with them.

5) Bonus:
Then there's the added bonus that I don't have to change out of my pajamas if I don't want to, and can take the day at my own pace. This may sound like code language for "I get to be lazy", but actually I try very hard not to be lazy, because I want to be a blessing to my family rather than a burden. Also, because the Bible warns against laziness and idleness in many places, such as here in 2 Thessalonians:
Now we command you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you keep away from any brother who is walking in idleness and not in accord with the tradition that you received from us. For you yourselves know how you ought to imitate us, because we were not idle when we were with you, nor did we eat anyone's bread without paying for it, butwith toil and labor we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you. It was not because we do not have that right, but to give you in ourselves an example to imitate. 10 For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. 11 For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busybodies. - 2 Thessalonians 3:6-11
I enjoy being a Stay-At-Home Mom, and am so blessed to be able to do so. I'm thankful that I get to spend the good days and the bad days with my son {but I dread going back to school next semester, even if it is only 2 days a week!}.

Linking with WFMW and WLWW


  1. Thank you for this post. I am a stay at home mom as well and I feel the same way! Keep up the good work ;)


  2. I agree with your reasons, and about the unfortunate cultural bias against SAHM's. I encountered a lot of this while I was working on my masters degree at a liberal university. I was really saddened by some of the comments I received aimed toward me and others like me (SAHM's and people who follow conservative Biblical teachings)