Why I Choose to be a Stay At Home Mom

I wrote two weeks ago about The Cultural Bias Against Stay-At-Home Moms. I promised a follow-up, so here it is.

As I mentioned in my earlier post, I know I'm not a full-fledged Stay-At-Home Mom (SAHM) yet. I am still working toward finishing college, including taking one summer class this summer and going back to campus for one more year. In addition to that, I've only been a mom for 4 and a half months.

However, I (along with Brandon) believe that home is where God wants me while my children are at home. And it's where I want to be, too. (Isn't it nice when what you want matches up with what God wants?)

Here are my 5 reasons:


1) The Bible tells me so. 
Titus 2:3-5 says "Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled."

1 Timothy 5:14 "So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander."

Proverbs 31 speaks of an excellent wife, and she works. I believe if we ever needed extra income, it definitely would be fine for me to work to bring in income, as long as my responsibilities at home were taken care of first - meeting the children's needs and maintaining our home.

2) My husband is supportive of it.
Brandon is not forcing me to stay at home, nor does he scorn me for it. He does not think I'm lazy for preferring work at home rather than work outside the home. Actually, he is glad that I am able to stay at home with Asher and take care of our home. 1950s-ish it may be, but he loves coming home to a home-cooked meal - and I love making it for us!

He would rather work two jobs - which he does - so that I may stay at home rather than both of us work and have to send Asher to daycare or a babysitter. We would rather be tight on money than tight on precious time with our precious boy. Plus, we can manage to make one income work because we know the difference between needs, wants, and luxuries.

3) We want to raise our children.
This is one reason we will homeschool our children, but it also applies to their preschool years. I want to know and love and nurture my children, rather than have someone else do it for me. Why would I pay a daycare or a babysitter to watch my kids all day when I can give them all the love and care they need at home? No one - not even their grandparents or aunts or uncles or dear friends - can love my children like their Dad and I can.

Deuteronomy 6 tells parents to teach God's Word to their children diligently. Parents are to talk of God's Word "when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." The passage makes it clear that God's Word should be the business around which all of family life should orbit, and I personally do not see how I could do that if I only saw my kids a few hours each day.

We want to "bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." -Eph 6:4    and we feel that the best way to do that is for at least one of us to be with them constantly, day in and day out, imparting the truths of God's wisdom to them.

4) There's nothing else I'd rather do.
When I was in high school and early in college, I really struggled trying to decide on which career to choose. I knew that I would want to stay home with my kids when I had them, at least during their preschool years, and I took that into consideration when thinking about a future career. However, the more I thought about it, the more my desire grew to homeschool my future children. I knew that Brandon and I would be getting married in college, and kids were soon to follow (little did I know just how soon!) and that is when I decided that motherhood was my dream job.

No career could ever be as rewarding as diligently raising up faithful children for the Lord. Now I know there is no guarantee that our children will come to know the Lord, and it's out of my hands - the decision is theirs to make. However, I can "lead a horse to water" so to say ... I can shepherd him in the way he should go.

When my kids are grown, I want to be able to say that I did all that I could do, I was a faithful steward of my children and my time with them.

5) Bonus:
Then there's the added bonus that I don't have to change out of my pajamas if I don't want to, and can take the day at my own pace. This may sound like code language for "I get to be lazy", but actually I try very hard not to be lazy, because I want to be a blessing to my family rather than a burden. Also, because the Bible warns against laziness and idleness in many places, such as here in 2 Thessalonians:

⁶ Now we command you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you keep away from any brother who is walking in idleness and not in accord with the tradition that you received from us. ⁷ For you yourselves know how you ought to imitate us, because we were not idle when we were with you, ⁸ nor did we eat anyone's bread without paying for it, butwith toil and labor we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you. ⁹ It was not because we do not have that right, but to give you in ourselves an example to imitate. ¹⁰ For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. ¹¹ For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busybodies. - 2 Thessalonians 3:6-11

I enjoy being a Stay-At-Home Mom, and am so blessed to be able to do so. I'm thankful that I get to spend the good days and the bad days with my son {but I dread going back to school next semester, even if it is only 2 days a week!}.

Linking with WFMW and WLWW

This week's goals {May 27- June 2}

So, last week, I didn't get as much accomplished as I would have liked.

Keep Asher well-fed, clean, and happy.

Feed Woody and play with him each evening or morning.

Continue to help Asher develop independent sitting and -maybe soon!- crawling

Make a menu plan and have dinner at home most nights (without grocery shopping - use up what we have instead)

• Monday - Taco Chicken
• Tuesday - Leftover Pizza or White Chicken Enchiladas
• Wednesday - Crock Pot Chicken and Dumplings
• Thursday - Dinner at a friend's
• Friday - Leftovers

Make a date to spend time catching up with some friends this week or next.

Go to Thursday evening Bible study - decide on and bring a dish.

Finish reading Shepherding a Child's Heart , and begin a new book.

Fold and put away clean laundry, maintain clothes and diaper laundry

3 cloth diapers a day.

Maintain the house.

A few notes about last week: Asher's not as close to crawling as I thought: we need to master sitting first. I was so glad that I got to go to my Thursday night Bible study - it's always refreshing to my soul {and a kick in the pants}. I finished reading Shepherding a Child's Heart and loved it. I'd recommend it to any parent. I think I'll actually read it again, to make sure I remember everything, and maybe even do a review of it at one point. 






I really tried to get more housework done, but I simply could not get motivated enough to do it. Rather, I spent my time spoiling! entertaining my boy, spending time outside in the nice weather, etc.


With the introduction of summer's scorching heat, however, we will probably be spending much more time indoors. I'd still like to walk to the library occasionally, but I'll reserve that for cooler days, and try to get more housework done on the hot days.


Goals for this week:

• Keep Asher well-fed, clean, and happy.
• Fold laundry and put it away.
• Get the house in excellent shape. 
• Create code names. (Brandon's idea. He's so fun.)
• Eat dinner at home every night. 
• Sunday - Dinner at church. 
• Monday - Chicken Pot Pie
• Tuesday - Sloppy Joes
• Wednesday - Tuna Salad Sandwiches
• Thursday - Leftovers
• Friday - Chicken Enchiladas
• Saturday - Leftovers or dinner out 
• Continue reading my current book. Read 5 chapters.
• Use cloth diapers more frequently. Update about it next week.
• Help Brandon with ordering VBS supplies.

What are your goals for this week? Let me know in the comments!

Linking up with Organizing Junkie

The Adventures of a Not-So-Smart-Mommy (volume 1)

Yesterday, I made plans to go today to the movies with my mother-in-law Shannon and sister-in-law Haley. We were going to see "MouseHunt" at the local theater, since they have free movies throughout the summer on Tuesday and Wednesday mornings ...or so we thought.

I woke up earlier than usual, showered and got dressed and ready, then woke Asher to get him ready. Shannon and Haley arrived around 9:30am with breakfast. We ate and headed out.

We got to the theater a tiiiiiny bit late - as is my usual custom - and pulled in to a scene similar to this:

an empty parking lot.

"Surely they're open," we thought. "Surely it's just... no one else showed up. We're the first ones here... 3 minutes late." We tried the doors - locked. We accessed their website and found, to great our dismay, that we had the wrong date. They don't start the free movies until June. Fail.

Well, Fail number one.

We went to Wal-mart to get a few groceries, and then Shannon dropped us off at my house. Haley stayed, since there's church tonight.

After a while of being lazy at home, we ate lunch and decided we should go for a walk. The weather was perfect - nice temperature, yet overcast so we wouldn't get sunburnt or too hot. Haley and I loaded Asher up in the stroller for a short walk to the bridge over the highway... or so we thought.

We got to the bridge (about a half mile away) and decided that we felt fine, not too tired, we'll go to Dairy Queen. That was all well and good, since I had brought some money just in case we decided to go a bit further.

It turned out it was quite a bit further (about a mile maybe? I'm not good with distances). We still weren't tired, so it was okay. We ate our ice cream and shake and decided to go to the library.

I thought it was a good idea... Asher would be getting hungry soon, and since the library wasn't very far away, it would be a nice place to relax and feed him and read and rest up for our journey back home.

We went upstairs to the kids' section, I selected a few board books to read to Asher, and we chose a nice comfy chair in which to sit. I read one book, then another, then the first again, and then heard a nice, loud, pffffft. 


Oh yes he did. I even felt it. ...and then another.

And those weren't dry toots. They were loaded. His diaper was loaded. And the worst part?

Not-So-Smart-Mommy forgot to bring a clean diaper and wipes. Oh yes she did. Fail numero dos.

We weren't supposed to be going that far! We had only planned on going to the bridge, and I had packed accordingly. All I had was one receiving blanket, and the outfit he was wearing. Oh goodness.

I thought about our location, and realized there were no stores around where I could buy diapers. I only had three dollars anyways, after our stop at Dairy Queen. I glanced around the kids' section of the library, in hopes that another mother of a baby would be around. Maybe I could bum a diaper off someone?

Nope, no other babies. Not even a toddler.

In a stroke of brilliance  an attempt to redeem myself, I recalled some information I had read online about cloth diapers. The simplest form of cloth diapers consists of using only a flat cloth diaper, referred to as a "flat", folded up to form a diaper. I had a receiving blanket, maybe that would work.

It did! I borrowed some paper towels from the librarian on which to change Asher in the changing station in the bathroom, and to use as wipes. I folded up the blanket, wrapped it around his hiney, and buttoned his onesie over it. Then I pulled his pants on as an added back-up.

"This is actually pretty neat," I thought to myself. "I wouldn't do this full-time, but it works."

We finished up at the library and headed home, stopping by Dairy Queen again to grab some ice waters since the sun had come out. It was quite the tiring walk home, but we made it and felt good.

Then Haley passed out..

Not really. It just felt so good in the house and we were so tired. She was being dramatic. She's good at that. ;)

And as it turned out, Asher didn't even dirty the blanket!

So the Not-So-Smart-Mommy learned her lesson: Always be prepared. Even for "short" trips.

Boasting & Pride

1 Corinthians 1:27-31

But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, 'Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.' 

A couple of things have happened recently, the local high school graduation being the main one, that have made me think a lot about boasting and pride - my own especially.

As I watched the graduates cross the stage Friday night, many of them had cords, stoles, and accolades aplenty. There were sections of the ceremony when groups of high-achievers were recognized with honor and applause. Names were listed for various accomplishments, that all may see and be proud of their graduates.

But should they be proud? What are they proud of? For doing their best in school? For completing 12+ years of education? For behaving well enough to be allowed to "walk" at graduation? For getting by?

And what are they boasting in? Their ability to endure through tortuous classes? Their intelligence in attaining high grades? Their diligence in doing their "best"?

I am guilty of the same arrogance and pride. I was among those whose names were listed as high achievers in my class's graduation program, in a desirable place within the rankings of my year. I had high test scores and GPA, and I loved it. My parents taught me to always do well in school, and I was rewarded greatly for high grades. I was taught in that way to value academics and intellectual ability.

In valuing intellect, I looked up to those who were brilliant, and I looked down upon those who were not. And it's not that I tried my best to be smart; I was one of those annoying kids for whom everything comes pretty easily, with little to no work or studying required.

Still, I "knew better" than to brag about my own accomplishments; however I didn't avoid bragging because I was humble, but because it seemed too attention-seeking, which I am put off by.

Nevertheless, I am zealous for my own glory. When in conversation with others, I often think "Oh! This would be a good time for Brandon to brag on me..." and I delight in praise. I catch myself sometimes, and am ashamed, but too often I'm so engrossed in my own conceit that I don't even notice.

The scripture quoted above speaks of the foolishness of worldly wisdom, how God has chosen the weak to shame the strong. Verse 31 says "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord." How many people in the world choose to boast in the Lord? How many boast gladly about their weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest on them (2 Corinthians 12:9)? I want to boast in Him, not in myself.

Boasting about weaknesses is folly to the world. "But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise." Boasting about our weaknesses is a testimony to Christ's strength in us.

God uses things like this Scripture to let me know how much work He still needs to do in me. I am far from a finished product. While I may not have as many external sins as some, my heart is a soiled mess. I compare myself to others and delight in evil and gossip; I am often unkind to those I love and desire control over my world; I am disrespectful and selfish; I could go on and on - and maybe I should, if I am to boast in my own weaknesses in order to display Christ's glory more abundantly.

I want to be zealous for His glory, and passionate about making it known that God is the giver of all good things, even especially the things we think we have earned.

Romans 7 :

²⁴ What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? ²⁵ Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

A Calm Week at Home

Last week was crazy. It was jam-packed with activity. All of it was lovely, but I am very ready for a small break. This week, while Brandon works overtime managing the feed store for his dad while he's on vacation, Asher and I will be taking it easy at home. We have a few small outings planned, but for the most part we will be at our favorite place in the world - home!

Since we'll be home more, we can also take advantage of the cloth diapers we've been wanting to use. I was so excited about cloth diapering when I was pregnant, but once Asher arrived, disposables seemed so much easier. I tried cloth on him when he was about 3 weeks old, and he was too small for them - they didn't fit right.

Then, I guess I waited too long to try them again, and by 3 months old, he was too big for them! There are some he can wear that are one-size-fits-all (up to 35 lbs), but they seemed too intimidating for me. However, I began using them two days ago, and they're not that bad at all! I still use disposables on him at night and when I know we'll have to change him while we're out, but this week I am setting a goal to use at least 3 cloth diapers per day.

Speaking of goals, I did so well last week (by God's grace)!

  Keep Asher well-fed, clean, and happy.

  Keep up with dog-feeding and playing. Buy a new collar since he chewed through his. Sigh...

  Make a meal plan and have dinner at home most nights

• Monday - chicken and rice casserole;
• Tuesday - Sloppy Joes
• Wednesday - Crock Pot chicken and dumplings
• Thursday - Taco chicken
• Friday - Pizza

  Daily, interruption-free quiet time

  An hour and a half of computer per day

  Read 5 more chapters in  Shepherding a Child's Heart

  Grocery shop - remember tortillas and ranch dressing

  Clean up house, get some deep cleaning done!

  Send out 1 youth's camp forms. 

I didn't follow the meal plan exactly, but we still had dinner at home every night. Like I have said before, "interruption-free" is quite a high ambition for my quiet times - and I'm my own worst interruptor. And some days I spent more time on the computer. I need to work on reducing that time.

This week, I'm making a simple list:

• Keep Asher well-fed, clean, and happy.
• Feed Woody and play with him each evening or morning.
• Continue to help Asher develop independent sitting and -maybe soon!- crawling
• Make a menu plan and have dinner at home most nights (without grocery shopping - use up what we have instead)
• Monday - Taco Chicken
• Tuesday - Leftover Pizza or White Chicken Enchiladas
• Wednesday - Crock Pot Chicken and Dumplings
• Thursday - Dinner at a friend's
• Friday - Leftovers
• Make a date to spend time catching up with some friends this week or next.
• Go to Thursday evening Bible study - decide on and bring a dish.
• Finish reading Shepherding a Child's Heart , and begin a new book.
• Fold and put away clean laundry, maintain clothes and diaper laundry
• 3 cloth diapers a day.
• Maintain the house.

Asher is getting so good at sitting! He even pulls himself up in the tub - which 

makes it a little hard to bathe him, but I'm so proud!

Check back later to see how I did, and let me know what your goals are for this week!

Let summer begin!

I always love summer... well, I love it at the beginning, and I miss it at the end. I enjoy the freedom of being finished with school (one more year of college until I am finished forever! :) and I enjoy the beautiful weather, but here, the sun packs some heat! The humidity is awful. So I love summer mornings and summer evenings, when it is cool and there is usually a nice breeze.

If these past few days are any indication of how the rest of the summer will play out, then it will be one busy season. I like having things to do, but sometimes it can get a little crazy, especially for my sweet little boy who requires frequent naps if he is to be expected to be cheerful.

When Asher gets overtired, he begins to get loud. He yells! At his aunt's graduation Friday night, I kept trying to get him to go to sleep, but the crowd was too loud and he was afraid he would miss out if he went to sleep. So, in a similar fashion to the people cheering for their graduates as they walked across the stage, Asher too got very vocal. It's funny to watch him get so loud.

One night recently (I can't remember which night - everything's jumbled together) Brandon, Asher, and I went to Nick's baseball game. Much of the time was spent socializing with Asher's cousin Westin, my mom, my sister Kourtney, and her boyfriend Dustin.

It's so fun to see cousins interact with one another. They are so interested in each other!

Of course, we enjoyed the game as well. Nick got to pitch a few innings, and in the inning we saw, he did awesome! 3 strike-outs... that's my bro!

Asher's been busy, developmentally, too. He's started sitting up very well on his own. It came as quite a shock to me - we haven't been practicing as much as I guess we could have been - but I sat him up one day and he didn't fall down! I was amazed!

He's also started having more of an interest in our food, so we gave him rice cereal for the first time on Thursday night. He didn't seem to like it very much, but I think it was thinner than he expected and he's also not used to using a spoon.

It was so fun to watch him make a mess with it, though! 

He's also starting to push himself up into a mini-pushup position while on his belly - he's getting closer and closer to crawling!

Friday, we went to Lexington to return our Moby wrap we bought a few months ago. I liked the Moby, but Asher was too big for it and I like the Ergo better.

We got home in time for Brandon's sister Carrie's high school graduation. They did a neat little flash mob dance at the end, right after throwing their hats off. It was funny.

Saturday, we had a church event during the afternoon, and then we made our way to Eubank in the evening for Carrie's graduation party. It was a long day outdoors, and we enjoyed every part of it. 

4 Generations: Brandon, Asher, Brandon's dad and grandpa

 Asher with the grad: Aunt Carrie!

Next year is my sister Lauren's high school graduation. Hopefully Asher will do as well then as he did this year! Although he was tired and loud, he was happy and cheerful. That's my kind of baby!

Mmm... Homemade Bread!

If you've ever made homemade bread, or if you've ever been around when homemade bread was being made, you know that there is almost no better smell than the smell of just-about-finished bread in the oven. I used to babysit for some friends, and the mom made homemade wheat bread using her bread machine. I loved making sandwich lunches for the kids, because that meant I'd have a good excuse to eat some of her amazing bread! I'd even eat the crust for the kids - and I've never been a crust person.

Well that same woman is loaning me a bread machine, and I just love making bread with it! I could eat fresh bread with butter and honey for every meal if I didn't have a husband to feed. :) Brandon likes the homemade bread, but he's used to white bread and I love the half-wheat flour bread recipe that came with the machine. It's not quite as good as Christa's bread, but it's still scrumptious!

I love how easy it is to use. I made homemade bread a few times before I had a bread machine, and with the kneading and dough rising and the yeast - there's just so much that I can mess up. With the bread machine, you just throw the ingredients in (in proper order), turn the machine on the appropriate setting, and a few hours later, you've got fresh, warm bread and a house that couldn't smell any better!

It's also helpful to have a handsome little guy to cheer you on from his high chair

Or from his stroller if he keeps slouching in the high chair.

So, after drooling over the freshly baked bread while it cools for an agonizing 10 minutes, I slice it up, lather it with butter (and honey if I can stand waiting long enough to put it on too), and enjoy!

The only difficult part of making bread with a bread machine is slicing the bread. I've got a nice bread knife to make it a little easier, but Connie's way of easily slicing bread looks awesome - you just need an electric knife and a bread slicing guide - neither of which I have. But my way works too, and it makes me appreciate the saying "the best thing since sliced bread" a little more.

Have you ever made homemade bread? Do you have any cool bread machine recipes? I'd love to try them out! (I've only tried one non-loaf recipe so far, and it was a messy, gooey, utter failure). Share them in the comments!

My First Mother's Day

This past Sunday was my first Mother's Day as a mother. Last year, I was pregnant on Mother's Day, but only a few people knew about it. There was an awkward moment last year at a church Mother's Day brunch because my mom, mother in law, and one other person knew I was pregnant, but I wasn't making it public yet, so when we were acknowledging all the moms and expecting moms, a few knowing grins were exchanged when I didn't stand up as "expecting".

Mother's Day started out with Brandon making breakfast. It was a simple canned cinnamon roll batch, but it's one of my favorites for breakfast and I was happy. I found a sweet note - in true Brandon fashion.

We got ready for church and had youth Sunday School in our living room. Only two students showed up, but Brandon preached the Word faithfully as usual. I ducked out a little early to get Asher dressed and ready.

My sister Kourtney and nephew Westin came to church with us, as we were having Asher's Baby Dedication. The boys were very cute, reaching for each other and all. Westin tried to sing along when the choir sang their special music. I had to take Asher down to the nursery for a few minutes because he was getting fussy, but I got back upstairs in time to come forward after the invitation.

We went to our pastor a few weeks ago to ask if our church does anything for Baby Dedications. Now this isn't like infant baptism in any way: we know that our decision does not save our baby; Asher will have to come to the Lord on his own. Rather, a baby dedication is simply a time where we as parents vow to raise our child(ren) in the training and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4).

Baby dedication is modeled after Hannah's dedication of Samuel to the Lord, as chronicled in 1 Samuel. In her case, she actually gave Samuel to God, in that once he was weaned, she took him to the temple of the Lord and left him there to be raised as a priest/prophet under Eli. In our case, we acknowledge that Asher belongs to God, and we as his parents are here to raise him up in a godly manner.

We went through a responsive reading, vowing to set an example for Asher and to teach him the ways of God. The congregation agreed to help in reinforcing what is being taught at home and seen at church, and to keep us accountable in our endeavor to teach Asher diligently.

I received a large hanging flower basket for being the mother of the youngest child, and church was over. On the way out of church, we saw a dripping wet dog (it was raining). Ol' Woody chewed his way out of his collar again, and proceeded to run up the church steps - smelling like a wet dog - to greet everyone. Brandon took him to our basement, where he stayed until we could get him a new collar. That's probably the tenth collar we have bought him. Anyone have suggestions for getting a dog to quit chewing? (And digging?)

Most of the rest of the day was spent relaxing at home. We went to the evening service at church, then visited each of our moms for a few minutes.

Brandon's mom has some cute puppies.  We actually thought about getting one, and I even had a cute one picked out (the one on the left) but we decided we can't get another dog if we can't take care of the one we have. I've been working on playing with Woody more often: we're trying to train him to stay in the yard while we're outside with him: other times he's on a tie out/ trolley system thing. We'd like to get an underground fence for him, but those things get pretty expensive.

Anyways, my first Mother's Day went very well. I was glad to get to spend it with my sweet guys, taking it easy at home.

Oh! And yesterday, the biggest part of my Mother's Day treats arrived: Ashley! :) She and two of Brandon's sisters came over and spent the afternoon spoiling Asher, cleaning our bathrooms, windows, and kitchen floor, and dusting and vacuuming and folding laundry. It felt good to be able to sit back and relax a little, while someone else got our house squeaky clean.



It also helped Ashley - she's been fundraising to go on a mission trip to Africa and a trip to Washington D.C. this summer, so she's been cleaning houses and having bake sales like crazy (and crazy good! I LOVE her white chocolate chip cookies!). I'm so excited for her, because I went to Africa in 2009 and I know how awesome an experience it can be. So, if you'd like to order some baked goods or need your house cleaned, let me know and I'll let her know! Everyone wins! :)

Goals for the Week - May 13-19

Last week's goals:

  ·  Keep Asher well fed, clean, and happy. 

·  Go to Asher's 4 month check up - on time or early. Try to be strong for him when he gets shots.

·  Feed and water the dog every day. Play with him at least 3 days of the week.

·  Make a meal plan and have dinner at home every night. 

·  Spend only 1 hour (or less) on the computer every day. 

·  Read 5 chapters in Shepherding a Child's Heart. 

·  Have at least a 5 minute, interruption-free quiet time every day, spending time in the Word and in prayer.

·  Keep the house picked up, do some deep cleaning.

·  Finish organizing bathroom closet.

·  Get youth camp forms sent out on time.

Yeah... so... it doesn't look like much, but I feel pretty good about it. I didn't have a specific "Quiet Time" every day, but I read the Bible first thing in the morning every day and got in lots of prayer time - "interruption-free" is harder than you'd think. 

I didn't get any deep cleaning done or finish organizing the closet, but that's okay because one of my treats for Mother's Day is that we're getting a lovely friend (and some family) to come over and have a big ole cleaning party. :) I'm excited. 

And I'm working on spending less time on the computer, and more time reading. I actually read about 10 chapters in Shepherding a Child's Heart last week and I feel good about my progress!

There was another goal which I forgot to include on my list last week... Try out homemade Honey Buns recipe. It was a fail. A terrible, messy, gooey fail. But I made chocolate chip banana muffins, and they were mmm good! 

This week:

• Keep Asher well-fed, clean, and happy.
• Keep up with dog-feeding and playing. Buy a new collar since he chewed through his. Sigh...
• Make a meal plan and have dinner at home most nights
• Monday - chicken and rice casserole;
• Tuesday - Sloppy Joes
• Wednesday - Crock Pot chicken and dumplings
• Thursday - Taco chicken
• Friday - Pizza
• Daily, interruption-free quiet time
• An hour and a half of computer per day
• Read 5 more chapters in  Shepherding a Child's Heart
• Grocery shop - remember tortillas and ranch dressing
• Clean up house, get some deep cleaning done!
• Send out 1 youth's camp forms. 

Linking up with Organizing Junkie's MPM

The Cultural Bias Against Stay at Home Moms

In honor of Mother’s Day, I want to thank all you moms who so diligently work to train up your children. Proverbs 31 speaks highly of a diligent and godly woman who also fulfills the roles of wife and mother: “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Also “Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also and he praises her.”

I’m so blessed to be the wife of an amazing husband who appreciates and values me, and to be the mother of a handsome, sweet baby boy.  

Being a mom is a hard and scary job, though. Children are a blessing, a gift from God (Psalm 127) and we are to be faithful stewards of our time with them and of their lives.

I’m writing today about being a Stay-at-Home Mom. I know I’ve only been a mom for a short time, but I truly feel that motherhood is my one true calling. I look forward to raising a house full of kiddos for the glory of God.

However, I’ve noticed a cultural bias against children and motherhood (especially Stay-at-Home Motherhood). It’s only natural that the world would be opposed to SAHM-hood, since the primary goal in (my endeavor, at least, as a) SAHM is to raise kids up in the training and admonition of the Lord. The world’s ways are naturally opposed to God’s ways*.

I'm writing a short series on Why I Choose to Be a Stay at Home Mom. This post is sort of the introduction: "The Cultural Bias Against Stay at Home Moms".

When I was growing up – all through school, high school especially – I was always taught to “dream big” about what job I wanted to have when I grew up. “You can be anything you want to be” was the slogan: astronaut, lawyer, doctor, architect, teacher, and veterinarian were commonly touted as “successful” options. There were Career Aptitude Tests which matched you up with possible career options; there were lists of careers one could pursue in different disciplines, miles long.

It’s funny, though: I don’t recall Stay-at-Home Mom being on any of those lists.

Now, I’m not anti- women’s rights or anti- working mothers – this post isn’t about what I believe everyone should do. The purpose of this series is to let you know why I choose to be a SAHM.

When I finally decided that what I wanted to do more than anything in the world was to be a full-time mommy (without a second job), people occasionally voiced their concern that it was a waste of my “talent”. I could do so much more, if only I’d have a professional job. What a brilliant mind, what a shame it won’t be put to better use (okay, so no one ever said it so straightforwardly, but the bush was beaten around). 

At college, no one ever considers that someone would want to “find [their] calling” at home. In classes sometimes when we go around and tell what our major is, what we plan on doing with that after college, etc, they would respond to my response with an “Oh! Okay…?”

I had felt it slightly before, but I never fully realized the extent of the disdain or condescension that many people in society have toward wives and mothers who choose to stay at home and work there rather than find a “real” job in the “real” world.

Maybe people don’t realize the bias they have against SAHMs. When I first began to tell people that I want to be a Stay at Home Mom, I was… ashamed to say it. I find it to be an honorable calling, yet I’m ashamed to admit that it’s what I want to do? You see, the cultural bias against SAHM-hood has been deeply ingrained.

I don’t understand it, but somehow it’s deemed alright by society if a woman wants to be a teacher or secretary or cook or maid or nanny or nurse or personal assistant as long as they’re doing it for someone else’s family and being paid for it. However, those same jobs within the home, taking care of one’s own family, are less than; inferior; somehow not as honorable.


Many people look at Stay-at-Home Motherhood as simply the absence of a job. They think that SAHMs sit around watching TV all day, or on the internet constantly. In fact, I did a Google images search of "Stay at Home Mom" and half of the pictures had a woman on her laptop with a baby in her lap! Those people have obviously never been a SAHM. 


There is so much work to be done in order to keep a home maintained - and I only have a 4-month old! I know I will need God's grace more than ever to keep the house running when I have multiple children (who can make messes on their own) who need to be taught and played with and supervised in addition to the responsibility of making (and cleaning up after) 3 meals a day; keeping the laundry caught up, folded, and put away; keeping the dog taken care of; dishes clean; bathrooms cleaned; floors vacuumed; etc. That's not even including personal ambitions and time with God! Do you see how much work goes into this job?

This was a bit of a rant, but… Do you see it? Do you see the bias against women who choose to stay home and cultivate their children’s lives rather than leave it to the “professionals”? 

I don’t have a problem with working moms or daycares or babysitters: I worked at several daycares and was a babysitter and loved it! I worked for a few weeks as part of my internship for school and had to leave Asher in daycare, and he flourished there. Those ladies loved my baby and I’m sure he was learning so much – but no one can love my baby like I can. No one knows him like I do.

To Be Continued...

(*I’m not trying to say that it is worldly to be a working mom: some families need moms to work, and some moms choose to work. A family can raise godly children without being at home with them 24/7. God is sovereign. Personally, Brandon and I think the best way for us to train our children in God’s ways is for me to stay home with them and teach them.)

"Why Me?" : Needs, Wants, and Luxuries

Recently, I've heard many people speak of wants and luxuries as "needs". This bothers me, especially since so many people in the world live on less than what most Americans make in a week.

Here's a few statistics: if you make $15,000, you're richer than 88% of the world. $50,000? You're richer than 99% of the world.




I'm ashamed to admit it, but I have noticed that I sometimes feel entitled, like I deserve certain things, I need certain things - like time on the internet every day, or enough food to make me full at every meal. They don't occur often, these feelings, because the smart part of me is more dominant than the stupid part.

I know that I am a wretched sinner who deserves death and hell and that it is only by the grace of God that I have been born into a culture that has so much excess, and into a family that has provided everything I need. As I was taking a walk through my yard one day last week, I was praying, thanking God for all of the myriad blessings in my life and suddenly became overwhelmed. "Why me?" I thought, "Lord, why was I given all that I need, want, and so many luxuries when 90% + of the world so often must go without?"

Then I realized, God has blessed me in order that I might be a blessing to others. I need to be generous with what He has given me - my stuff, my money is not mine, it's His anyways. I'm to do with it as He wants me to.

Our American culture - kids especially - takes so much for granted. Many times, parents don't help the case:  they spoil their children with more toys than they could ever realistically play with, giving them manifold ways to keep entertained (no wonder so many kids now have ADHD [but I know there are legitimate cases] - but that's a topic for another time).

I was spoiled in this manner myself. I remember many Christmases when my parents would ask me for a list of things I wanted for Christmas. As far as I can remember I never wanted much, so I'd hand over my short list and without fail, there would be dozens of presents wrapped under the tree for me - most of which I would never use. I once told my mom that I didn't need all of this stuff, and she told me she would feel bad if I didn't get much - for she believed that I deserved to get just as much as my siblings, and she felt I'd be missing out if I didn't get a lot of things.

photo credit

I could go on and on, but I'm writing this post to differentiate between Needs, Wants, and Luxuries.

Needs

A need is... well, something that you need in order to live. Air, water, and food are all I would put on that list, but most others include clothing and shelter as well. Some even include sanitation, education, and healthcare.

credit

Now air, water, food, clothing, and shelter does not mean air conditioning, purified water, five course meals, designer clothing and a mansion. It doesn't even necessarily mean tap water, canned soups, Dollar Store clothing and a two bedroom mobile home.

When we visited Africa in 2009, the people whose villages we visited felt blessed to live in one-room mud-brick homes, eat rice and chicken, drink well water that was shared with the livestock, and wear the clothing that Goodwills in America had cast off as unsaleable to Americans. But they had their needs met.

Wants and Luxuries are a bit harder to distinguish, but I'll give it a go.

Wants

I would consider wants to be upgrades from basic needs, so the air conditioning, tap water, nicer meals, dollar store or Wal-Mart clothing and two-bedroom home would be wants.

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Also considered a want would be basic transportation: bicycles, access to public transportation, even a vehicle of your own.

Electricity in the home, a bed to sleep on, home telephone, movies to watch, are other examples.

Luxuries

Now we arrive at the things most of America "can't-live-without" - but really they can. 

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I use an outdated cell
phone as an example
for a reason. One like this is
 still a luxury, whether you
appreciate it or not.

• Cell phones
• Internet
• Laptop
• A nice, reliable vehicle
• Two vehicles for one family
• A home large enough for everyone to be in a different room
• Video games
• A comfortable bed
• 10+ outfits of clothing
• Gourmet meals
• Convenience meals
• Convenience anything
• Coffee
• Chocolate
• Soda
• Jewelry

Again, I could go on and on. 

How can we feel that we deserve to be so spoiled? How can we say that we're tight on money when really, there's plenty of money, it's just tied up in our luxuries? How can we not give to others who truly have needs which they can't afford to meet? 

I know how it is for money to be tight - technically, our family is below the Federal Poverty Line - yet we live well. We have everything we need and want and many luxuries as well. The Lord has blessed us greatly to be able to survive and thrive on an income which many would deem insufficient. Yet we are able to tithe regularly and give additional gifts of generosity on occasion. I'm not saying this to boast about our giving or to make you feel sorry for our financial situation - as I said, we do fine and manage to give and save. What I'm trying to show is that almost any American family can afford to be generous if they're smart with their money.

I know that at any moment, we could sell a vehicle or some of our furniture or cut off our internet, or spend less on groceries. There's no excuse to not be generous with what we've been given. God has blessed our family with so much more than we could ever need or deserve, and He has blessed yours too.

 "And my God will supply every need of yours 

according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:19

4 Month Check-up

Long Version: (see bottom for short version)

I was really dreading today. Asher turned 4 months old yesterday, and that meant the 4 month old check-up was drawing dreadfully close. You know what that means: shots.

We had planned on Brandon being able to come to the doctor with me and Asher - Brandon asked off work a couple of weeks ago in order to be there with us. The plan was to switch his work day from Tuesday to Monday and then go with us on Tuesday.

"Mama made me a mohawk this morning!"

However, Brandon went off and got himself hurt on Sunday afternoon. We were at the home of some friends, celebrating one of our youth's 16th birthday, when a game of volleyball started in the backyard. Brandon joined in, and on the first play - the first play! - he jumped for the ball, landed badly on his ankle, and heard some pop!s. He sat out the rest of the game, went inside, and put some ice on it. 

Asher being rocked on the trampoline at the cookout :)

I didn't realize how badly he was hurting until he suggested that we go to the hospital to get it X-rayed: he thought it could be broken. Thankfully, however, we got it X-rayed on Monday (yesterday) and no broken or fractured bones were spotted.

All of that to say, Brandon took off Monday to get his ankle checked out, so he did indeed have to work today (Tuesday) and thus was unable to come to the appointment with me.

I arranged Asher's feedings today so that he would be getting hungry around the time of the doctor's appointment. Any time he has to get shots, I try to be able to nurse him immediately afterwards, as that's been shown to help reduce the pain the baby feels and comfort them as well.

I didn't realize how behind schedule the office was, though. By the time we finally got to the exam room and Asher had been weighed and measured, he was HUNGRY!!! I decided it might be awhile before the doctor came in, so I let him eat a little to hold him over. Then he fell asleep.

When the doctor came in, she talked to me a bit, listened to his heart while he was sleeping, then we laid him down so he could wake up and she could check him out. He did wonderfully, and the doctor and the student with her were amazed that he woke up in such a good mood. He's just that great of a baby :).

The doctor left, and then I freaked out. I remembered how last time Asher had shots, we had a mean ole nurse who had no sense of humor and gave him the oral drops in a manner that made him gag and made Brandon "hold him down!" and then didn't even put the band-aid on the right spot! I prayed for a different nurse, a nice friendly nurse, who would be gentle with Asher. I prayed that God would give Asher strength and grace and that he would do well with no adverse effects. I cried.

Cool superhero band-aids!
In the right spot!

I calmed down by the time the nurse came in, and sure enough - praise God! - we had a nice nurse. She was very friendly and very gentle. She gave Asher the liquid vaccine in a much gentler way than the mean ole nurse had. She told me I could stand by his head, and to hold onto his arms so they wouldn't get poked. He cried, and so did I, but it wasn't that bad. He was finished crying by the time the nurse left the room.

I fed him and he calmed down some more, got his belly full, and we left happy.

Short Version:
Today, I took Asher to the doctor today to get his 4 month old check up and shots. Brandon couldn't come. Asher did fine. I cried but I did fine too. Praise God.