Monday, May 13, 2013

The In"sssssss"ident

AKA The Snake Incident
(This story is best read in a dark room, where the reader's face is illuminated by a flashlight. Dramatic inflections are an added bonus.)

It was a windy, cloudy April day like any other. Brandon, Asher, and I had just returned home to Somerset after being in Campbellsville for school most of the day. We didn't want to head home and get comfortable, only to get back out again to take my brother Nick to his baseball scrimmage, so we decided to spend some time at the library before we headed over to pick Nick up.  *DUN DUN*

Our time at the library passed uneventfully, and we headed out to the car, when the children's garden caught my eye. We had never taken Asher to the garden, and we had a little more time to spare, so I suggested we take him over for a romp in the garden. Little did I know what would await us there...

Asher stayed on the sidewalks like a good little boy for approximately 5.2 seconds. Pretty soon, he was wandering off the path, into the grass and up the small hill. I positioned myself on the bench next to the hill to watch the event which was about to unfold. *DUN DUN DUNNN*

My boy tripped, and I leaned over the rail to help him, when I noticed a slight movement in the grass. I immediately recognized that it was a snake and, after panicking for half a second, I bolted over the rail, risking life and limb to save my boy from the disaster which surely awaited him. No big deal or boasting here though, it was mommy instinct.

After ensuring that we were both unscathed - and I ENSURED that we were okay, checking and re-checking Asher's legs where surely the snake must have bitten him, he was so close (and you know the saying, "If it was a snake it would've bit ya") - I proceeded to freak out. I staunchly declared that I was never again taking Asher to the Children's Garden. Brandon followed the snake around for a few minutes, watching it as it slithered under leaves and out of sight. He considered picking it up, but I screamed bloody poisonous snake, and ran away with Asher. Brandon managed to take some pictures and a video while I was having a panic attack.

Turns out it was just a garter/garden (?) snake. I figured that when I saw it; I didn't really think it was venomous, but a snake is a snake, and if it had bitten one of us, I'd say the bite would hurt either way.

And then we brought Asher back the next week. :) This time, I made sure he stayed on the sidewalks. However, Brandon did find a snake skin in the same vicinity that we saw the snake the week before.

Beware, ye partakers of garden goodness. There is garden badness too, of the ancient variety.

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