Speaking Kindly

I was holding Asher, but I needed to do something 

which would require free hands. 

"Take him!" I barked.

"Okay..." a girl in the youth group 

reached for the baby,

 assuming I meant for her to take him. 

"Oh," I reassured her,

 "I didn't mean you, I meant Brandon. 

I wouldn't talk to you that way..." 

I trailed off, realizing what I had just said. 

The week of youth camp was kind of hard on our relationship, as we didn't get to talk as much as we normally do. Brandon and I didn't get to spend as much time together because of his responsibilities in leading the youth group, which I totally understand. However, for some reason it made things a little tense between us. 

We didn't get to clarify misunderstood looks or thoughtless comments. We didn't get to show affection as much as we normally would have. We didn't have our relatively uninterrupted dinnertime conversations like we do at home. We didn't even sleep in the same room and talk and pray together at night as we usually do. Those and other situations made it harder to communicate as we would have liked.

Nevertheless, there's no reason to talk disrespectfully to anyone, but especially my husband. I am commanded to respect (Ephesians 5:33) and submit to him (Eph 5:22, Col 3:18) as to the Lord. Would I talk to God that way? Never. Would I appreciate being talked to that way? Nope.

I need to learn to keep a tight rein on my tongue (James 1:27) and speak "only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" (Ephesians 4:29). I should set an example for others with my speech (1 Timothy 4:12) and my conversations should be always "full of grace, seasoned with salt" (Colossians 4:6).

I need to realize that even though my tongue is a small part of my body, my words are powerful - just as a small spark can set a forest on fire, or a rudder can steer a whole ship (James 3), the tongue can build up or tear down. "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger" (Proverbs 15:1).

Do you have any suggestions for keeping your speech kind? What works for you?

"May the words of my mouth 

and the meditation of my heart

be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, 

my Rock and my Redeemer."

 ~Psalm 19:14

Father's Day

Today is Father's Day, and it's Brandon's first one as a Dad! I'm so proud of the man that he is - a man who Asher (and our other future children, Lord willing) can look up to and emulate.

Brandon is a hard-working father. He works very hard at two jobs in order to provide for our family. I'm thankful for such a diligent husband.

He also has a caring heart. He is compassionate toward others, and shows it in many ways, primarily by serving others even when he doesn't feel like it, such as after a long day at work.

Brandon is passionate about the Lord and His people. He loves serving in ministry in our church, teaching the  Word and spending time with the youth.

Most of all, Brandon is a man of integrity. I am so proud of him for his honesty and trustworthiness in all that he does, especially when dishonesty would profit him (such as when he has to sign whether or not he read all of a book for class - a few times he hasn't read the entire thing and honestly admitted it, while some of his classmates compromised their integrity for a grade). His integrity is a blessing to Asher {and me} as well:

The righteous who walks in his integrity— blessed are his children after him! 

Proverbs 20:7 

Happy Father's Day, Brandon!


Also, I've been very blessed to have a wonderful father of my own:

And stepfather:

As well as Father-in-Law:

And Stepfather-in-Law:

I'm blessed to have all these men in my life, and Asher is blessed to call them "Papaw" (or "Grandpa" or whatever he ends up calling them:)

Most of all, I'm blessed to have a perfect Heavenly Father who is loving and just and who has adopted me into His family through the sacrifice of His son, Jesus. 

"As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who love Him." - Psalm 103:13

The Cultural Bias Against Stay at Home Moms

In honor of Mother’s Day, I want to thank all you moms who so diligently work to train up your children. Proverbs 31 speaks highly of a diligent and godly woman who also fulfills the roles of wife and mother: “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Also “Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also and he praises her.”

I’m so blessed to be the wife of an amazing husband who appreciates and values me, and to be the mother of a handsome, sweet baby boy.  

Being a mom is a hard and scary job, though. Children are a blessing, a gift from God (Psalm 127) and we are to be faithful stewards of our time with them and of their lives.

I’m writing today about being a Stay-at-Home Mom. I know I’ve only been a mom for a short time, but I truly feel that motherhood is my one true calling. I look forward to raising a house full of kiddos for the glory of God.

However, I’ve noticed a cultural bias against children and motherhood (especially Stay-at-Home Motherhood). It’s only natural that the world would be opposed to SAHM-hood, since the primary goal in (my endeavor, at least, as a) SAHM is to raise kids up in the training and admonition of the Lord. The world’s ways are naturally opposed to God’s ways*.

I'm writing a short series on Why I Choose to Be a Stay at Home Mom. This post is sort of the introduction: "The Cultural Bias Against Stay at Home Moms".

When I was growing up – all through school, high school especially – I was always taught to “dream big” about what job I wanted to have when I grew up. “You can be anything you want to be” was the slogan: astronaut, lawyer, doctor, architect, teacher, and veterinarian were commonly touted as “successful” options. There were Career Aptitude Tests which matched you up with possible career options; there were lists of careers one could pursue in different disciplines, miles long.

It’s funny, though: I don’t recall Stay-at-Home Mom being on any of those lists.

Now, I’m not anti- women’s rights or anti- working mothers – this post isn’t about what I believe everyone should do. The purpose of this series is to let you know why I choose to be a SAHM.

When I finally decided that what I wanted to do more than anything in the world was to be a full-time mommy (without a second job), people occasionally voiced their concern that it was a waste of my “talent”. I could do so much more, if only I’d have a professional job. What a brilliant mind, what a shame it won’t be put to better use (okay, so no one ever said it so straightforwardly, but the bush was beaten around). 

At college, no one ever considers that someone would want to “find [their] calling” at home. In classes sometimes when we go around and tell what our major is, what we plan on doing with that after college, etc, they would respond to my response with an “Oh! Okay…?”

I had felt it slightly before, but I never fully realized the extent of the disdain or condescension that many people in society have toward wives and mothers who choose to stay at home and work there rather than find a “real” job in the “real” world.

Maybe people don’t realize the bias they have against SAHMs. When I first began to tell people that I want to be a Stay at Home Mom, I was… ashamed to say it. I find it to be an honorable calling, yet I’m ashamed to admit that it’s what I want to do? You see, the cultural bias against SAHM-hood has been deeply ingrained.

I don’t understand it, but somehow it’s deemed alright by society if a woman wants to be a teacher or secretary or cook or maid or nanny or nurse or personal assistant as long as they’re doing it for someone else’s family and being paid for it. However, those same jobs within the home, taking care of one’s own family, are less than; inferior; somehow not as honorable.


Many people look at Stay-at-Home Motherhood as simply the absence of a job. They think that SAHMs sit around watching TV all day, or on the internet constantly. In fact, I did a Google images search of "Stay at Home Mom" and half of the pictures had a woman on her laptop with a baby in her lap! Those people have obviously never been a SAHM. 


There is so much work to be done in order to keep a home maintained - and I only have a 4-month old! I know I will need God's grace more than ever to keep the house running when I have multiple children (who can make messes on their own) who need to be taught and played with and supervised in addition to the responsibility of making (and cleaning up after) 3 meals a day; keeping the laundry caught up, folded, and put away; keeping the dog taken care of; dishes clean; bathrooms cleaned; floors vacuumed; etc. That's not even including personal ambitions and time with God! Do you see how much work goes into this job?

This was a bit of a rant, but… Do you see it? Do you see the bias against women who choose to stay home and cultivate their children’s lives rather than leave it to the “professionals”? 

I don’t have a problem with working moms or daycares or babysitters: I worked at several daycares and was a babysitter and loved it! I worked for a few weeks as part of my internship for school and had to leave Asher in daycare, and he flourished there. Those ladies loved my baby and I’m sure he was learning so much – but no one can love my baby like I can. No one knows him like I do.

To Be Continued...

(*I’m not trying to say that it is worldly to be a working mom: some families need moms to work, and some moms choose to work. A family can raise godly children without being at home with them 24/7. God is sovereign. Personally, Brandon and I think the best way for us to train our children in God’s ways is for me to stay home with them and teach them.)